I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
