Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize