who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Randomize
