That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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