i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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