after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
