I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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