i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
