Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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