Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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