I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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