Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The beer is more important than you right now.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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