Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize