idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My vagina just clenched in fear
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