She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
