I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize