I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Nicole vs. Life
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
