guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
