I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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