I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
