Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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