You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
