halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
either way he was missing a nipple.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also, beer. Big fan.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
