Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
