who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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