I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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