Banned from zoo.
Again?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
