I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
