Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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