There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
