I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
