1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
