Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize