someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
