Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
