Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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