btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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