Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
