Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
