Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
