3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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