I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
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