I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
