Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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