Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
