strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize