i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
