...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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