so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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