I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
