Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize