She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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