hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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