North Korea, Best Korea!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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