just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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