but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
