This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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