my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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