Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
