I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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