He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
