That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
