Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
