Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
