Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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