WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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