Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
