theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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