so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
