yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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