no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
