last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
