operation harelip BJ is a go
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize