just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So vagazzling was a success
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