i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize