Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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