When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize