is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Randomize
