physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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