I bet he comes in French.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize