She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
